This is a better analysis Harry, you have embedded the film, used images to illustrate your points (but you still need many more!) and thought about the audience reaction at times.
However you are still being too descriptive of the narrative. Try to avoid this and make sure you are using much more media language and talking about:
Sound Mise-en Scene, Editing and Camera movement/Angles etc
See me if you are unsure about these elements.
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